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Taking it All to the Mat: Yoga as a Panacea?

Fri, 01/09/2009 - 2:09pm — Dr. Jenn

My intention for the new year is to honor my body. So this week I signed up for three months of unlimited yoga. Half-way through the first class, as my sweat made the mat too slippery for firm positioning, I questioned what the hell I was doing. But now 4 classes later, I am reminded of the power of yoga for balance and joy.

Yesterday was an odd day and I was feeling under the weather, both physically and emotionally. Yet knowing that I would be attending a 5:30pm yoga class took the edge off the day a bit. In the first child's pose, I smiled with my face to the mat, because I knew the next hour was sacred time for me to be present with me. During the final shavasana, I usually relax and smile with the thought of what I get to eat when I go home (food is a motivator for me). But last evening I noticed myself mentally escaping and brought my awareness back to my body. I can already feel my spine straightening more. I'm aware of muscles in my abs and ass I haven't felt in quite some time. I feel more aware of and appreciative of what my body is capable of doing. And I felt peaceful and happy.

I'm thrilled that for the next three months (at the least) I'll be taking it all the mat. For me, a regular yoga practice is such a positive and holistically balanced outlet for stress, anxiety, frustration, fear, and sadness. By the end of an hour I had a great workout...and life just makes more sense.

Jennifer Gunsaullus, Ph.D.

Relationship & Intimacy Doctor
Healthy Sexuality & Happy Relationships in San Diego
www.drjennsden.com

The Erotic Mind - What Are Your Peak Sexual Experiences?

Tue, 12/23/2008 - 7:57pm — Dr. Jenn

While I'm home in PA for the holidays with my family, I'm reading The Erotic Mind by Jack Morin, PhD. This book was recommended through the AASECT (a professional sexuality organization) listserve, and with a subheading of "Unlocking the inner sources of sexual passion and fulfillment," how could I not be intrigued both personally and professionally?!

I haven't read that far into the book yet, but I am very pleased with the author's writing style and outside the box thinking. Instead of taking the standard "what's wrong" approach to sexual therapy and counseling, he starts with questions about peak sexual experiences and fantasies. This is a way to learn more about your erotic turn-ons, how you've tapped into that in the past, and setting the groundwork to create more passion in the future.

Thinking back, what were your most sexually arousing situations? What were the details and circumstances? Why do you think it was so arousing? The interesting thing here is that sometimes our most arousing memories don't involve sexual intercourse or even explicit sexual activity. It could be visual stimuli, or an attraction, or a desire. Or it could be a complex and wild and debauchous! It's a great way to focus on what has worked well for you in the past, and be creative in how to bring more of that to your erotic fulfillment.

Jennifer Gunsaullus, Ph.D.

Relationship & Intimacy Doctor
Healthy Sexuality & Happy Relationships in San Diego
www.drjennsden.com

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Consciousness Raising in Female Sexuality

Mon, 12/08/2008 - 2:27pm — Dr. Jenn

I received a wonderful email today from a viewer. She wrote about the idea of consciousness-raising, and how she uses In the Den with Dr. Jenn for her own personal growth. I like the concept of consciousness-raising, and first heard about this as an undergrad learning about the feminist movement of the 1970s. Through gathering, learning, expressing, and implementing, groups of women would challenge their beliefs systems for personal and societal growth. Below are parts of the email I received:

Dr. Jenn,
I subscribed to your podcast at least a year ago. I just wanted to tell
you how much it has meant to me. You are wonderful! You are "out there" saying things that are so important to be in discussion in our society (and so important to me too). In fact, when I first downloaded the podcast I kept a journal of reflections regarding your ideas, statements, and the information you presented. It was like a consciousness raising for me. I watched your podcast like a class! I really like your tone and topics. Many of the podcasts concern things I have thought or read about before but not thought through enough to have integrated them into my life. The reflection journal helps me in that way. I enjoy the format of your show. It is a safe place to have these conversations, as you say each time. I am so grateful for your blend of fun and academic tone. Our society seems to put women into a box and not let them out. I live in Oklahoma and the stereotypes seem more narrow here. Did you know you were a role model? I bet you did. =0)

It means so much to me to receive emails like this! I'm actually creating a workbook to be used as a guide for self-learning and exploration with the podcast show, and I love that this viewer has already taken that into her own hands by creating a consciousness-raising journal. We are always hearing and learning new information, but unless we take the time to reflect on how it impacts us at a deep level and what we want to do with that knowledge, it may just go in one ear and out the other. This is a great example of a woman taking the bull by the horns in terms of her own self-education and sexual empowerment - I love it!

Jennifer Gunsaullus, Ph.D.

Relationship & Intimacy Doctor
Healthy Sexuality & Happy Relationships in San Diego
www.drjennsden.com

Bodily Pleasures - Swaying to My Own Beat

Tue, 12/02/2008 - 11:54pm — Dr. Jenn

As I mentioned in an earlier blog about "Spirituality & Sexuality - Why Such a Split," pursuing and experiencing pleasure has gotten a bad rap. It's immature. It's superficial. It's selfish. And oddly enough, for a society with such a focus on individualism, selfishness (particularly for women, I'm wiling to claim) is condemned. Although we are constantly pursuing pleasures of the body, to say that you're doing it for its own sake, as an end in itself, seems to be a problem. This perspective is understandable to some extent, as a hedonistic approach to life could include feeling out of control or mis-prioritizing.

But like so much else, I look to apply a holistic perspective to pleasure and reframe it as a self-nurturing activity. Yesterday I experienced a session of movement therapy with musician and dance/music therapist Draza Jansky. We sat on the floor for awhile, discussing my relationship with my body, my experience of my physical body needing to "catch up" to my emotional and spiritual growth, and what it is to be in tune with and honoring of my body. I then stood with my eyes closed and just moved however I wanted as my friend observed. Despite my expectation of feeling awkward in being watched and my assumption that my inner critic would be full throttle, within minutes I felt peaceful yet inquisitive.

I was curious by my movements. I was appreciative to have the time devoted to a calm and gentle exploration. I was shocked that I felt thoroughly at home in my body and in a rare space of nonjudgment. I forgot I was being watched. How long I moved, swayed, stretched, and expanded, I do not know. What I do know is that I experienced pleasure. Holistic pleasure. I felt mentally and physically energized, emotionally and spiritually peaceful, and socially exempt. I was listening to my inner wisdom. And I was OK in each moment. This holistic pleasure, by way of my physical body, was nurturing and balancing and honoring and freeing. And felt damn good.