Have you ever cheated on your partner?

Yes, and it was great and I'll do it again.

22% (2 votes)

Yes, and I felt terrible and told them.

0% (0 votes)

Yes, but it was minor and not that big of a deal.

11% (1 vote)

No, but I've considered it and might do it at some point.

33% (3 votes)

No, that's just irresponsible and disrespectful.

33% (3 votes)

Total votes: 9

Comments

Mon, 07/07/2008 - 7:55am — runningchick

Cheating???

Interesting question, Dr. Jenn. As I read this, I was thinking, what does she mean by cheating? It has grey areas, and means something different to everyone - is it physical like kissing someone other than your partner passionately, or forging an emotional bond with someone else, or just having coffee with someone and not telling your partner.
Then what about people in open relationships? What would they consider cheating to look like? And what about those in polyamorous relationships? Is cheating found in these types of relationships that are outside socitety's norms?
What do you consider to be cheating, Dr. Jenn?

Mon, 07/07/2008 - 8:54pm — Dr. Jenn

Cheating is in the eye of the beholder

Thanks for bringing up this poignant question, RunningChick.

I think what is defined as "cheating" depends on the specific relationship in which it occurs. Generally, cheating refers to sexual relations with someone outside the partnership.

Yes, cheating can occur in a polyamorous relationship, if there is sexual/emotional activity happening outside of the agreed upon rules and boundaries. However, successful polyamorous or open relationships have clearly stated needs and boundaries with cheating less of an issue due to the ingrained flexibility. In these circumstances, building a strong emotional relationship with someone outside the primary relationship(s) may be seen as more damaging to the core relationship(s) than outside sexual activity.

There is much ambiguity in what it means to cheat in a monogamous relationship. Perhaps kissing while drunk wouldn't be considered "really" cheating on a partner by some, while others would be crushed by this act. This reminds me of a lecture I attended at the recent AASECT conference about sex and technology, and the boundaries of what is considered sexual activity. I think that will be my next blog topic!