Here is a log of the 25 most recent blogs I have posted to Dr. Jenn’s Den. Happy reading ☺

Vulva Photography for Me!
Sex Sells Except When You’re Selling Sex
Breaking Patterns - Building Healthy New Relationships
Erotic Play Lecture at San Diego Mensa Regional Gathering
The Female Brain - Making Sense of Hormones and Neurobiology
Sexual Empowerment - Buzz Words or Depth of Humanity?
Girltalk Blogging: Soulful Conversations for Women
Deepen the Intimacy and Fun Communication with your Partner
Awakening to Sexual Self-Love
The Vagina Monologues in San Diego!
Womanhood, First Periods, & Passing on Wisdom
Taking it All to the Mat: Yoga as a Panacea?
The Erotic Mind - What Are Your Peak Sexual Experiences?
Consciousness Raising in Female Sexuality
Bodily Pleasures - Swaying to My Own Beat
Thanksgiving - An Exercise for a Day of Gratitude & Appreciation
Spirituality & Sexuality - Why Such a Split?
Sexual Pleasure & Sexual Expression - What Comes Into Play?
Emotional Intelligence - Feelings vs. Thoughts
Does He Like Me or Not? Are We Just Friends or Dating?
Maintaining Stability & Passion Under Financial Strain
Nominated for PODCAST AWARDS! In the Den with Dr. Jenn
Blocks to Intimacy and Sex --> Vulnerability?
New Meetup.com Group - Healthy Sexuality & Happy Relationships in San Diego!
Breast Cancer Awareness - Think Before You Pink

Jennifer Gunsaullus, Ph.D.

Relationship & Intimacy Doctor
~Inspire Your Sex Life~
www.drjennsden.com

If you've seen Session 20 or Session 82 of my podcast show, then you know I'm a big fan of Nick Karras' artistic photography of women's vulvas called Petals. His sepia-toned close-up photos of women's genitals is a powerful tool for me in the classroom and with clients, to show that there is incredible variety in genitals and to learn that we can experience our genitals as beautiful.

I'm happy to report that Nick and his wife Sayaka are working on a Petals II project this summer. This time the photos will be in color, so that they can explicitly be utilized in educational settings (e.g., nursing programs, clinical settings, women's studies classrooms).

AND...I visited them yesterday to have myself photographed as part of their new book! Although I wasn't nervous per se, I certainly felt some initial awkwardness in laying down and spreading my legs for my friends to view, let alone the camera that was about a foot from my vulva. But I was relieved and pleased with how comfortable Nick and Sayaka made the experience because of their matter-of-fact approach to the shoot and their appreciation for female sexuality and empowering women. Within minutes I actually felt quite proud of my vulva and her modeling debut. Even though the experience itself was probably no more than 15 minutes, I really did leave the shoot feeling more empowered through being appreciative of the beauty of my genitals and having unabashedly shared myself for the education and empowerment of others. Pussies unite!

Jennifer Gunsaullus, Ph.D.

Relationship & Intimacy Doctor
~Inspire Your Sex Life~
www.drjennsden.com

I was recently the call-in sex expert for a radio show back in my home state of PA. The show is called Sex & Sensibility with host Jill McDevitt, the owner of the Feminique Boutique erotic store. Our topic of discussion was economics, spending, marketing, and sexuality.

I shared the example of when I co-owned Zip Zap Toys, an erotic product company for women, and we were buying advertising space to announce workshops in the San Diego Reader. The Reader is bursting with the plastic surgery ads, photos of women in bikinis, and also has ads for male sexual enhancement products. We, however, were not allowed to say what we actually sold, but were instructed to call the products "marital aids." The only way I was able to get any semblance of the word "sex" in the ad about female sexual empowerment and education was because I am a "sexual health educator." The double standard was loud and clear.

Jill shared a recent story of advertising for her company. She found that local newspapers would publish ads of women in bikinis for bars, cars, and even something as nonsexual as lamps. But when she attempted to place an ad for her erotic store with a pin-up style model photo, she was told it was too risque. The clear message here? Women's sexuality can be used to sell everything except for education and empowerment of positive women's sexuality.

Jennifer Gunsaullus, Ph.D.

Relationship & Intimacy Doctor
~Inspire Your Sex Life~
www.drjennsden.com

It can be challenging to avoid falling into old patterns at the start of a new relationship. The excitement, new-ness, hormones, and wanting to present yourself in the best light, can create a context where old patterns are resurfacing without you realizing.

Sometimes after a relationship breaks up, you can look back and see small (or perhaps large) ways that you were not being true to yourself. I recommend making a list of questions to prepare for yourself ahead of time; start by analyzing where and how you think you lost part of yourself in past relationships. Did you agree with everything your new partner offered and said so as not to make waves? Did you use alcohol as a social lubricant to make sexual encounters less fraught with self-consciousness? Did you start spending every available moment with this person, to the detriment of friendships and other obligations?

We all have patterns and ruts that can lead to the same unwanted outcomes, irritations, and disappointments in the long run. If this resonates with you, here are some specific questions to get you started so you can check in with yourself as you’re getting into a new relationship:

• Am I voicing my needs? In a responsible, honest way?
• Do I feel out of balance? This includes physically, mentally, emotionally, socially, and spiritually?
• Am I reacting to irritations from a past relationship, without giving this person a chance?
• What is my intuition telling me as to whether this is a healthy relationship for me?
• Do I respect this person? Do they respect me?
• Am I afraid to be vulnerable and express my true self?
• Does this person bring out the best in me?
• Am I taking care of and nurturing myself?

Add questions that are relevant to your patterns. Pull this list out when you have started a new relationship. Be gentle when answering your questions. This is definitely not about beating yourself up, but about staying grounded, authentic, and present in your new relationship.

Jennifer Gunsaullus, Ph.D.

Relationship & Intimacy Doctor
~Inspire Your Sex Life~
www.drjennsden.com