Erotic Play - Making Intimacy Sexier
at the San Diego Mensa Regional Gathering

The opportunities for pleasure and fun in intimacy are limited only by our creativity. Learn how to tap into a holistic perspective to improve sensuality, explore the options of sexual toys, and delve into the world of fantasy. This interactive workshop will leave attendees ready to apply new ideas to their own sensual living.

Date: May 23, 2009
Time: 3:30-4:30pm
Place: San Diego Hilton Mission Valley

For more information, visit HERE.

Jennifer Gunsaullus, Ph.D.

Relationship & Intimacy Doctor
~Inspire Your Sex Life~
www.drjennsden.com

As a Sociologist, I was trained to put a lot of emphasis on the social construction of beliefs, gender differences, and sexual behavior. For this reason, I have been slow to embrace and explore the role of hormones and brain physiology in women and men. I recognize that it is difficult to separate nature from nurture, biological differences from socialized behavior.

Nonetheless, I have been THRILLED to read Louann Brizendine's book The Female Brain. I feel like so much of what I have learned about my personal emotional, hormonal, and intellectual patterns are validated through reading this book. I make so much more sense to myself now! As an emotionally intuitive person, I've learned how my hormones and brain structure are relevant to this. I am always speaking to my clients about the differences between women and men and how this is important to recognize and respect -- this book gave me the depth of terminology and understanding I was craving to offer a more well-rounded analysis of gender differences. As well, I have greater compassion now for the men in my life, and the inherent differences in our empathy, emotional expression, and sexual focus.

While I still continue to believe that to understand and honor human sexuality we need to take a multidisciplinary approach that includes biology, psychology, sociology, and mind/body/spirit perspectives, I think this book and research is invaluable to understanding, through wit and compassion, the female brain.

Jennifer Gunsaullus, Ph.D.

Relationship & Intimacy Doctor
~Inspire Your Sex Life~
www.drjennsden.com

At the Coed Coffee Chat discussion I facilitated last week, we discussed whether we thought “empowerment” was needed for people in the realm of sex and sexuality, and what the word means in this context. Although I was the only female present to make the discussing “coed,” I was very pleased with the variety of perspectives represented and sense of humor each participant brought to the table.

We started with what we thought empowerment meant in the context of sexuality. Different themes emerged:
-Being in charge
-Loving yourself
-Safety and security
-Giving and receiving respect
-Recognizing choices and making healthy ones
-Having access to contraception
-Knowing what you want and voicing that
-Caring as much about your feelings and pleasures as your partner’s
-Breaking the norm

But this all begged the question – why are we discussing this unless we believe that women and men are “disempowered” around sex and sexuality? Is that the case or are we just getting wrapped up in pop psychology and new age buzz words?

We started discussing how scripted and performance-oriented sex can be, and defined through mainstream idealized media images, pornography, and assumptions around what it is to a “good” sexual male or sexual female. I think the “breaking the norm” definition of empowerment is so compelling, because this is where we realize that we have choices, can be open to expressing our needs, desires, and sexuality in new ways, and be truly present with the moment and/or our partner. It takes a lot of confidence and trust to be able to break norms around sexual behavior, because we can have so many insecurities and fears tied up in our ability to attract and perform and just to be liked. This gets to the core of our desires as humans for connection and is ripe for growth and exploration. It can be scary – but it can be damn empowering too.

Jennifer Gunsaullus, Ph.D.

Relationship & Intimacy Doctor
~Inspire Your Sex Life~
www.drjennsden.com

I am doing a three-month stint as the 30-something blogger for Girltalk, the educational, inspirational, and edgy website by Inspirational Catalyst Christine Arylo. Christine motivates us to be real, trust ourselves, and love ourselves -- and support each other in the process through soulful conversations.

The blog topic for the beginning of April is: What's hardest and what's most exciting about today's crazy economy? If you're looking to redefine success and happiness on your own terms, check it out HERE!